Warning: This post is going to be slightly depressing, so if you're in the mood for something lighter and funny you'll have to go elsewhere.
I have been a mother for almost exactly 3 years now and there are many things that I have learned through my experience raising a child. One thing is that I am not a patient person. Bill tells me that I have a lot more patience than when I started this mothering adventure, but I still feel like I struggle through each day biting my tongue and trying not to scream when Will disobeys or throws a tantrum, which he seems to do on a regular basis these days. I love him very much and I am grateful to be his mother, but I just don't know how I'm going to deal with 2 children when I have such a hard time dealing with 1 sometimes.
The other problem I seem to be having is that I seem to lack motivation more often than not to do the day-to-day mundane tasks that come with being a wife and mother. I love having a clean house and I want to make sure that Will is happy and entertained each day, but for some reason I've been having a hard time feeling any desire to do anything to reach those goals. I'm so grateful for my wonderful husband who helps do dishes and laundry and who plays with Will whenever he can, and I am grateful for things like Park Day and for good friends who invite Will to play with their kids, or my poor son would probably be stuck in the house all day with a depressed mother, and that is definitely not fair to him.
I'm sorry for those who had to trudge through this depressing post, I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. If anyone has any good suggestions for how to be more patient or how to get through the day when you're tired and frustrated, I'd be more than happy to hear them.
8 comments:
Sometimes it's called cabin fever when you are kind of enclosed with a small cabin-apartment. Even Will could feel cabin fever.It works for me when I have something different to look forward to. Then the routine things just get done so you can go on: something different in your daily life. . . even the little guys love something different that they haven't done and it doesn't need to be a big thing: a different place; different sights sounds tastes touch, smell. Does this make sense?
shoot kristen, i thought i was alone in feeling like that sometimes! its good to know that other people who feel the same thing!
Yeah, you're not alone. I go through phases where I'm super motivated, and then there are the usual slumps where nothing ever seems to stay clean, and I'm constantly at my wits' end with Benjamin.
Ideas, huh? Hmmmm...I painted my toenails yesterday, and that seemed to help! :)
So I read this article shortly after reading your blog and I think it resonates with me. I find that when I make time for me to do things that I enjoy, our whole family benefits. Sometimes we need to recognize that we aren't the only ones progressing in our family and that requires time and strength. Sometimes those efforts need to be rewarded. Anyways- just something that works for me. Garage saling is definitely my end of the week reward.
Soothing Solution: Offer a Reward
Why it works for your kid: When children are learning to control their behavior, an extra incentive doesn't hurt. Throw a marble in a jar when they manage to head off a tantrum at the pass, with the promise that 10 marbles earn them a trip to the bowling alley or a movie night at home. It might make them think twice before they blow their top.
Why it works for you: Everyone loves to be rewarded for good behavior, so if you have your own marble jar, it'll give you a tangible way to track and recognize improved patience. "If you know you've got a problem blowing up around your kids, and you've started doing deep breathing or drinking a glass of water to calm down, why not take yourself to the spa as a reward?" says Linda Pearson, a family nurse practitioner in Lakewood, Colorado, and author of The Discipline Miracle.
Oh and here's the link to the rest of the article if you are interested.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/family-parenting/articleab.aspx?cp-documentid=10391818&page=2
Hey, sometimes the only thing that gets me through a tough day is knowing that whatever she's learning (or I'm learning) that day will eventually be figured out. Tomorrow will be a different day, often a better one.
90% of the time, though, things get MUCH better once I catch up on sleep. Sleep helps a TON! I'm more resilient, more patient, more able to focus on Alice's needs when my own needs for sleep have been met :)
I have no idea how to get more patience or energy! I can remember before having kids thinking of all the great things I would do as a mother and now I don't have enough patience to do most of them! The worst time of day is from 4-6pm when we are all tired, Daddy isn't home and I am trying to make dinner, etc. I turn on a Primary Hymns CD, or some of my "happy Music" and we get through it. The most helpful thing is thinking about all my friends who are mommies all over the country, struggling through those hours at the same time as me! We are in this together, and we are in good company, even if we aren't perfect.
No answers, Kristin dear... just to say that all mothers are in the same boat.
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